10 Places You Should Absolutely Avoid on Thanksgiving In Michigan

The holiday's are a stressful time of year. From the non-stop eating, to the non-stop exchanging of gifts.

Honestly, Thanksgiving in Michigan is best spent cozy at home, avoiding crowds and chaos. Here are 10 places to steer clear of this holiday:

1. Big Box Stores Ready to Launch Black Friday

Nothing says “I need a nap” like dodging half-zipped tents, hot chocolate spills, and those early-bird bargain hunters eyeing you like a rival. Do yourself a favor and steer clear! The deals can wait till Friday... or never.

2. Malls and Shopping Centers, AKA Pre-Black Friday Ground Zero

Malls on Thanksgiving are like a bad horror movie sequel: Mall of the Living Dead. The escalators are dead, the food court’s a wasteland, and the few stores open have lines longer than Santa’s naughty list.

3. Tourist Towns (Like Traverse City) – Where the Locals Have Vanished

Traverse City in November has all the coziness of a Hallmark movie... except it’s empty. The wineries are closed, and the locals are hiding indoors, leaving you to tour “Michigan’s Best Closed Doors.”

4. Detroit Metro Airport – Where Your Flight Is Definitely Delayed

Detroit Metro on Thanksgiving? Congrats, you’re now part of a live-action version of “Survivor: Concourse Edition.” The restaurants are closed, the Starbucks line is endless, and there’s a 50/50 chance your luggage is on its way to Cleveland.

5. Downtown Detroit’s Maze of Street Closures

Between holiday prep and random construction, downtown Detroit is a Thanksgiving labyrinth. Google Maps is as clueless as you are, so unless you’re looking to re-create “Home Alone 2: Lost in Detroit,” maybe give it a pass.

6. Michigan State Parks – When Nature Says “Not Today”

Michigan State Parks in November are great—until you realize the restrooms are locked, and your only restroom is a suspiciously leaf-covered area. Welcome to Survival of the Fittest: Thanksgiving Edition.

7. Casinos (Where Everyone’s Got Their ‘Turkey Money’)

Casinos on Thanksgiving? The slot machines are packed with people trying to win “holiday money,” and if the slots aren’t ringing, it’s only because everyone else is at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Play it safe and skip the gamble.

8. Grocery Stores in the Final Hour

Forgot the cranberry sauce? You and every other Michigander. By 3 p.m., the grocery store is a cage fight for the last can of gravy. Enter at your own risk, armed with elbows and low expectations.

9. College Campuses (Or: Thanksgiving Ghost Towns)

On Thanksgiving, MSU and U of M campuses are the ultimate spooky scene: empty dorms, vacant cafeterias, and the eerie sound of absolutely nothing happening. You’re better off exploring actual haunted places.

10. Outdoor Festivals – Where Even Frostbite Has RSVP’d

Outdoor festivals sound festive until the wind chill drops to “feels like -10” and the hot cocoa stand is mysteriously missing. If the choice is between freezing your face off and a cozy seat on the couch, trust me, that couch is calling your name.