Probably the best headline I’ve read in a while, thanks to the Detroit Free Press,

“Michigan Man Tells Police he stole food cart because he’s ‘a dumbass’. ”

What a great headline, and the story that followed is pretty great.

Friday a 21 year old kid, in Mt. Pleasant, after going out and drinking, notices a truck running with the Walking Taco food cart hooked behind it sitting outside of the Blackstone Bar.  So he does the unthinkable, and jumps in the truck and takes off… with the food cart! According to Detroit Free Press, the owner of the food cart called police right away and they found the pickup, with the food cart, on its side, per the Free Press.

Inside they found a drunk Zachary Jenkins who failed the field sobriety test and blew a .18 on his breathalyzer.  The legal limit is .08, in case you forgot.

When asked why he did it, the Detroit Free Press said he replied over and over “I’m a dumbass.”  HAHA Yes, yes you are, and I love that even in your drunken state, you know you are dumb.

I mean come on man,  I would have just stolen some tacos, but no, you took the whole damn truck and cart and then wrecked the tacos. You are a dumbass.